Things Written by Everett

The Day After Today

Let me state this first, I’m not a person who believes the Mayans were predicting the end of the world on December 21, 2012. I believe their calendar just counts up to a very high number where they thought, “Ya that’s probably good enough. The world may not even last that long.” and stopped their calendar there. Also the calendar is a circle, which could be interpreted to mean it starts over on the 22nd of December.

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We’ve all thought it though, that one small thought in the back of our mind. WHAT IF it really did end? WHAT IF I was wrong? Then we push it aside and realize it’s just a silly thought. Saturday will be just a normal day, and people will realize it was a silly thing to believe the world would end. Some will say, “No, no. The calculations didn’t count for this or that and it was off by a month!” or something like that. Others will finally forget about the impending doom the Mayans had known would come. Some might even commit ritual suicides thinking they’re avoiding the horrible end with a less terrifying end. Sadly, you can’t convince everyone that it’s a farce. As always, people will believe what is easiest to believe. Me? I’ll be on a train Saturday to visit my girlfriends parents for Christmas.

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Just for “fun”, I thought I would blog my own obituary in the event of the world ending. Assuming everyone had died as well, it wouldn’t make sense to have one, but I like to pretend and use my imagination. So here you go. If you are reading this, you have survived.

“Everett, 25, of Stockholm, Sweden, died Friday.

He was born to Bill and Terry, Feb 1, 1987, in Illinois. Against all odds, he graduated high school in 2005. He did a few years in various colleges, before quitting higher education due to not having a direction in life. He always told others that he didn’t know what career he wanted to go into, and wasted a lot of his parents money in the process of looking for it.

Everett worked almost a dozen different dead end jobs, ranging from waiter to bank teller to garden specialist and dabbled in market research. When he passed he was unemployed and looking for work.

Everett grew up Catholic, but lost his faith later in his teenage years after meeting a group of eclectic hippies who taught him to think outside the box. He used to say he liked the idea of a heaven or reincarnation and hoped one of them would be true.

Everett is possibly survived by his pug. He had a girlfriend before his passing that he loved, though she can’t be reached for further information. He always wanted children someday, but worried about the world he’d bring them into.

Anyone who knows Everett, would comment on his sense of humor, love for the Houston Texans (who were heading to win the super bowl in 2013) and many hours spent playing video games online. He also enjoyed reading numerous epic fantasy novels. “I’ve always felt I was born in the wrong era.” Everett’s blog read. “I long for the more straight forward and simple life of the medieval age.”

A viewing will be held over the next few days, until the snow covers the area. Burial will be held over the next few years in Stockholm, Sweden, where the body will return naturally to the planet Everett lived on and loved.”

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Well, there you have it! Sorry if it seemed a little dark, but it’s hard to make an obituary lighter. I had “fun” writing it, but need to work on my satire a bit. I hope my real obituary will be written in the year 2090 by a much better writer.

Have a great NORMAL Friday! I’ll post again after Christmas, hopefully with the beginning of my book chapters. Happy Holidays!

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